As you know, I love to read to my kids. Books provide entertainment, but also offer an avenue for discussion about what it’s like to be human. One of our favorite series that covers all manner of emotions experienced especially by kids is the Llama Llama series. There is one about being scared in your room at night, another about having trouble sharing, and Vivvi’s current favorite, Llama Llama Mad at Mama.

In this book, Mama takes little Llama grocery shopping (“First the shopping, then a treat!”). Little Llama gets bored at Shop-o-rama, gets all worked up, and throws an epic tantrum. Vivvi can relate.

IMG_9900Mama Llama proceeds to calmly explain to her little crazy psycho llama who just emptied the cart of all of its contents that we should see if we can make this fun and get llama shopping done.


Red faced ass-of-a llama calms down, they finish, and the Mama gives little (jerk) llama the promised ice cream cone and new shoes.


Sometimes I hate this book. Yes, the rhymes and pictures are cute. Yes, we’ve all been there—my recent worst was at the zoo. WallyV was happily watching the bears swim in the underwater viewing area, and Vivvi would not leave the stroller so we could stand near him. So I picked her up kicking and screaming. If I were Mama Llama, I’d say “That’s enough!” And calmly explain why she should not be flailing. I’ve got news for you, Mama Llama—Bahahaha! Not going to work. I tried being calm. I tried telling her that Security was going to take her because they would think I was kidnapping her (a real and honest fear of mine based on the scene she was creating). And eventually I did what every mom of a tantruming toddler has learned to do—I pretended the screaming child that I was holding didn’t exist. I smiled and waved at Wally, and checked to see what animal was next. I went to Carolina in my mind.

Seriously, Mama Llama, an ice cream cone? Needless to say, Vivvi did not get ice cream after the zoo.

So, I have rewritten the ending to satisfy all the moms and dads out there. Little Llama needs to know that his tantrum is unacceptable. Bad decisions have bad consequences. Bad, Little Llama. Bad. I’ll pick up right after that horrible tantrum.


Mama Llama, where’d you go?
Mama? Mama?? Hellooooo?


Uh oh, Llama, you’re alone.
Looks like mama headed home.

No more momma, little llama.
Orphaned llama for his drama.


Now you know what not to do,
So your momma won’t abandon you!

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