My daughter was a good sleeper from the start—she would sleep a 7-8 hour stretch, and then I only would be up with her 2 times a night for a five-ten minute feeding, and then back to sleep for both of us. Suddenly, at 4 months old, she was awake every 2 hours or less. No long stretch. Lots of required rocking.
Confounded and very tired after a few days of this, I headed to the internet for an explanation. I found out about the “Four Month Sleep Regression” and felt comforted that I wasn’t alone, based on the many forums where parents have this exact issue. But that comfort only got me through another day or two. I was looking for solutions. Real, actual things I could try to get over this strange form of torture.
As long as I had a plan—a new thing to try for a few days—I felt like I could survive it. And I do mean survive. Sleep is essential to functioning during the day, and you never realize that more than when you have suffered 21 nights of being woken up just as you fall into a deep sleep, over and over again. My thoughts felt like they were floating just above my brain, where they couldn’t be grasped and processed. I looked and sounded like an idiot. I wasn’t motivated to do anything except figure out how to fix this. I needed sleep.
So I made plans, I made changes, and here I am, a month later. I survived. I am not ready to declare victory yet. Every mom knows when you say your child has overcome something or gotten better at something, they immediately stop being able to do that very thing. But I have had seven nights of 6-8 hour stretches of sleep for myself.
So I wanted to share the things I tried that worked and didn’t work, in the hopes of helping other desperate parents who are currently searching the Internet for a solution to this awful problem. And it is awful, and you will make it through, and sleep is in your future. I know it. Try some of these things, if you need a plan to survive until then.
I decided to make changes every few days to give my baby a chance to adjust and to see if my solutions made any big difference. Some of the changes made all the difference, I believe, and some were worth trying if only to break some bad habits or to have a plan to keep me sane.
Here are the top four things that I believe made the difference:
Have your baby learn to self soothe. Prior to the regression, I was rocking my daughter to sleep, setting her down, and if she woke up and cried, I’d lather, rinse, and repeat. Once she approached four months old, this led to hours of rocking her in the evening to even get to the first stretch of sleep. I believe if your baby is fed, old enough (for me 3 months was too young and 4 was just right, especially after hours of rocking) and in a safe crib or space, the baby can cry him or herself to sleep. She cried in the car all the time, so I was used to hearing it. I did what I believe is called the Ferber method, going in to rock after 5, then 10, then 15 minutes, etc. to calm her down a little and then set her back down awake. This took 15 minutes total of crying the first time, and it saved me hours of rocking in the evening. Since then, we’ve had a few bad nights where the crying lasted a half hour or so, but for the most part if she cries it is only for 5 minutes. This step is essential, since your baby is starting to sleep cycle like an adult at four months old. So she is waking up in her lighter sleep phases and requesting you at night because she doesn’t know how to fall asleep without you. At the beginning of the night, when you know she is fed and safe, crying to sleep is okay.
Set up a good nap environment. By this age, your baby isn’t as capable of sleeping just anywhere—she needs an environment set up for uninterrupted sleep. No more stroller walks, no more car rides to run errands, and no more bassinets or rock and plays in the middle of the living room with your older kids running around. Put that baby down in the same place she sleeps at night, if possible. Have her fall asleep on her own after doing a nap time routine (mine is just putting her in a sleep sack, turning on a fan, and rocking her for a minute to indicate to her that it’s nap time). If she wakes up after 30-40 minutes, go see if you can rock her to sleep and set her back down. This is counter to my self-soothe plan for the first sleep, but at this point, since she’s had some sleep, it’s harder to go back to sleep. After a month of self-soothing at the beginning of naps and at night, I stopped going up to do this at the 40 minute mark—now, if she wakes up after such a short sleep, I let her cry for 10 minutes and she usually goes back to sleep.
Get your baby on a nap schedule. At four months old, your baby will be ready for a nap at 9 or 10 in the morning (or within 2 hours of waking up in the morning). Then, the baby will be ready for another nap in the afternoon (or within 2 hours of waking up from the first nap). Depending on how long your baby’s morning and early afternoon nap are, you may need to squeeze in a third nap in order to make it to bedtime. Contrary to logic, sleep begets sleep. So the more your baby sleeps during the day, the better she will sleep at night. My favorite quote from Weissbluth’s Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child is “It’s not logical—it’s biological.” So work on daytime sleep, and night sleep will improve. Your goal could be a morning nap and afternoon nap of 1-2 hours by 5 months old. (That was my goal.) Then put your baby to bed earlier—we moved my daughter’s bedtime from 8 to 7 pm, which helped us eliminate the third nap.
Switch to a bottle at night or send Daddy in. This was the single most effective move I made. After implementing the above three changes, I was getting a few 3 hour stretches out of my daughter, but this wasn’t good enough, considering she had been doing 8 hours prior to the regression. I was waking up when she cried, feeding her for 5-10 minutes (a half feeding for us), and setting her back down. I decided that maybe a bottle wouldn’t be as comforting for her, and so it would be less worth the trouble of waking up. The first few nights of the bottle, she woke up twice at 1 and 5, eating a full bottle at 1 and a half of a bottle at 5. (Then I pumped to keep up the supply.) The next few nights she started waking up at 5 or 6 only—so sleeping a 10 or 11 hour stretch. (Some nights, she does occasionally wake up and cry, but after only 5 minutes she usually puts herself back to sleep.) If you are doing formula, so you are doing bottles anyway, try sending dad in rather than mom. He might not be worth waking up to either! (I have read that this can solve the problem—I am not dad-bashing!)
Here are some other things that you might as well try:
Wait 5-10 minutes before going to your baby during the night. I decided to give my baby some time to see if she really needed me or was just crying because she was tired. Once she had cried it out to fall asleep at night, occasionally she would fall back asleep after only 5 minutes of crying in the middle of the night also. If I had immediately gone to her, I would have stolen her practice at falling asleep on her own. So in the middle of the night, look at the clock, mark the 10 minute point when you will go to her, and wait. Sometimes, you will both be able to drift back off to sleep without getting up.
Unswaddle. Ahhhh, the swaddle. Your baby liked it at first (and maybe still likes it), because it reminded her of being all wrapped and smooshed in your belly. Even if your baby may still enjoy it, it isn’t helping her sleep longer, so you may as well wean her from it now to prevent sleep problems once you get this regression worked out. Try wrapping her with one arm out for a few days, then wrapping with both arms out, and then getting rid of it all together.
Move your baby further away. If you can, move her to her own room. She may smell you, or be disturbed by your movement and noise. If a room isn’t available, move her to a hallway, the office, the closet—I don’t care if you move her to the bathroom! Or just move her as far across the room as you can.
Give your baby more space. If your baby is still in a bassinet, move her into the crib. This will give her room to stretch out, and it follows the same theory as the swaddle reasoning—it isn’t helping, so you may as well make the transition now. We are unfortunate to live in a house with only 2 bedrooms, and with an older son, our baby is staying in our room as long as she isn’t sleeping. So we moved her from a bassinet near the bed to a pack and play on the other side of the room to get her further away from us and to give her space to stretch.
Get rid of the pacifier. Your baby may be waking up looking for this comfort item. So while it may be a great way to get her to sleep, it is interrupting her sleep once she gets there. Plus, I have heard nightmare stories of mothers who have to wake up 5 times a night and flail in the dark in the crib searching for the lost pacifiers to pop one in the baby’s mouth. If your baby learns to self-soothe without this crutch, you will be better off in a few weeks.
Give your baby a Fisher Price Seahorse. This little guy is cute, lights up like a nightlight when it’s on, and plays soothing white noise like music for around 10 minutes before fading off. I recommend you turn this on when giving your baby the last feeding of the night and during night time bottles so your baby associates it with comfort. Then, turn it on one time only as you set your baby in the crib. Your baby may cry through the song, or it may be just distracting enough that she drifts quietly off to sleep. (I wouldn’t go press it again for her, because you don’t want it to be too much of a crutch or another reason for you to get out of bed at night.)
Move the baby’s bedtime earlier. I mentioned this already, but it is worth its own point. You might be keeping your baby up late to see if she gets tired and sleeps longer. This is probably a bad idea—the more tired she is, the harder it is for her to fall asleep. (You probably have noticed this phenomenon in yourself lately. You are so tired, but when you get the chance to lay down you are wired.) Remember, sleep begets sleep. I’ve heard that falling asleep is like surfing. Catch the wave at the right moment, and you slide right in. Catch it too late, and the wave comes crashing down on you. An earlier bedtime might help your baby ride the sleep wave into a sea of overnight sleep.
Try baby cereal. Just in case it makes you feel better about your baby’s potential hunger, tank her up before bed with some baby cereal mixed with breast milk. Only feed your baby as much as they seem interested in—if she wants more, give more. If she doesn’t want a bite, don’t force it.
Give a bottle of water or diluted milk rather than milk. This is how I weaned my now-two-year-old son from night feedings when he was waking up a few times still at 6 months old. The first night, provide a bottle of diluted milk. Each night dilute it more until you are just giving water. [Check with a pediatrician on whether you can offer water only to your baby. See comments below for an explanation.] Water isn’t worth waking up for, so the baby may just decide to sleep instead.
If nothing works, have hope. Most people say the four month sleep regression lasts 2-4 weeks. Perhaps your baby just needs time. My baby’s problems may have worked themselves on their own, regardless of me trying the above. But for my own sanity, having a plan gave me hope that the problem could be solved. I hope some of these ideas give you a plan or an idea that works for your own survival! If you have any ideas to add below that worked for you, feel free to leave a comment.
Good luck! And remember, you are not alone. In a few years, if we should meet, we may not exchange old war stories (as it will be too painful to scrape at these old wounds), but we will acknowledge that we both survived the four month sleep regression, and we will smile at each other, and we will know in our hearts that we are connected because of this sleepless bond.
May the sleep be with you.
We’re going on week 5 of the sleep regression. It takes at least an hour to get my son down for the first stretch at night, and half the time he’s awake again within a half an hour (this makes me crazy!). He’s waking anywhere from 3 (rarely)-8 (typically) times each night, and I’m exhausted. I’ve been working on the naps to no avail. I think we’ve gone so far down the rabbit hole that we need something drastic to change this pattern. He’s as sleep deprived as I am, and I’m starting to realize things probably aren’t going to improve on their own.
How did you decide that 4 months was the right age for sleep training? Our doctor suggested that today, but he still seems so young. That said, I can’t imagine life going on like this until he’s 6 months.
Megan, this is a hard decision to make. It’s one thing to hear your child cry, and another to let your child cry. However, like you said, you are all tired. Your doctor said he is ready, so you can keep that in mind. The question is really if you are ready. The best advice I got when it was time to let my son (my first child) cry it out, was that he was in a crib, safe, and couldn’t hurt himself. You know these things. Keep reminding yourself of that. And also, you are helping him learn something important—how to sleep. During the day that you decide it’s time to try, tell yourself all day (tell him too if you want) that tonight he will be crying for a long time. But if you are consistent, tomorrow it may be better. And soon, the problem may be licked. It is a hard decision to make, but really, you are helping him. You are helping everyone. Good luck to you—I hope you get some sleep soon!
Ahhhh! We just hit the 4 month regression hard core and I am losing it!
The first few nights you had little miss cry it out did she still wake up every two hours? If so, did you have to do the whole check and console bit?
I’m so tempted to try this out but since she wakes up SO much at night I’m terrified that I won’t be able to keep it up on the hour!
Also, when you offered her a bottle for the night feedings.. she didn’t mind? Our girl will accept a bottle from my husband but not so much from me. On weekends it’s not a big deal to have him feed her but during the week it’s going to be on me.
Sorry for all the questions, I know your experience more than likely will not be mine but hearing how others approached this time is comforting to me!
Julia, I think if the baby is waking up that often (my daughter was awake every hour to an hour and half anyway), it can’t get much worse. So whatever you are having to do when you aren’t letting the baby cry a bit is keeping you awake anyway—controlled crying isn’t going to be that much worse even if it is every hour! But I believe after a day or so of the controlled cry, the time between wake ups should stretch out further because your baby is learning to self-soothe. It did with both of mine. Regarding the bottle, I practiced during the day when she was in a better mood giving her a bottle, then pumped. That might help. Good luck!
First off, thank you so much for this website!! I haven’t found anything that actually has things to try until I came across your site on baby center.
Did you have to do the cry it out method with your second? The hard part for us is we have a 2.5 year old daughter and our 4 month old daughters room is right next to hers. I worry if I let her cry it out, it will wake up our 2.5 year old and everyone will be tired, but maybe it’s worth it to get the little one sleeping? Our little one turned 16 weeks old on Friday and she started her sleep regression this past week. I’m so sleep deprived. The other issue is she has painful gas that usually wakes her up anytime between 3:30am and 5:30am…shes actually in pain and the only thing that calms her down is her passy. I would hate to leave her in there bawling in pain but I don’t know what else to do! I’m at my wits end after a week of this and so tired. Sorry to vent! Anyway this site helped me at least come up with a plan. We are going to work on getting her out of the swaddle (I got one of those sleep sacks with a swaddle so we can start by loosening it and then one arm out and then both arms out). The paci is a different thing…she does seem to wake up needing it and as soon as it’s back in she falls asleep for a time again. The problem is she needs it when shes in pain (I can tell shes in pain because shes squirming and twisting and I actually hear gas coming out). Sigh, I know this too shall pass and we’ll get through it but it’s so hard when you’re in the midst of it!
Erin, sorry it took a while for me to respond! Maybe you have already tried by now, but I just wanted to let you know that we have a 2.5 year old son also, and I had the same concern with him. However, we just decided to move forward with crying it out, since we needed to get past the sleep regression. Like you said, it is very hard when you are in the midst of it! Our son surprised us by being an extremely solid sleeper. We are even considering moving them into the same room (rather than having his bed in ours, which is our current situation). She wakes up way earlier than him, but we think he’s solid enough that he’ll sleep through it even in the same room as her. Good luck to you!
Yes!! I am going through this regression with my second right now. I dealt with the exact same thing with my oldest at the exact same time, but didn’t do anything about it until 6 months. I was nervous that it was too soon to try, but even though you’ve written exactly what I’ve done, it was just the encouragement that I needed! My daughter was sleeping 7-9 hours a night since 4 weeks, and now it’s every hour! I try to ignore it, but all she needs is a little boob and she stops crying. It’s a total crutch! After about a week of letting her blow off steam before naps, she now goes down without any issue, no feeding or rocking, just a quick “wah” and then she’s off to sleep. I can’t WAIT for that to happen at night. Thank you thank you for the encouragement. I already knew what to do, I just didn’t dare. 🙂
I can’t tell you how much your advice has helped us. The day I found your website (11/25/12) we tried your tips that night. Our lil guy slept so well and has ever since. They were all little changes but I’m sure to him they were huge. I couldn’t believe all of the wrong things we were doing. Your advice and suggestions come from real life and totally make sense. Thank you so much!!!
Thanks so much for the ideas! My only concern is about the bottle of water. I encourage everyone to please double check with their pediatrician before offering plain water to a baby not eating solids. Plain water in infants can lead to water intoxication (diluting of electrolytes) which can be fatal. I know no one would offer something potentially harmful on purpose! We will try a few of the other ideas.
My 18 week old was an awesome nighttime sleeper until a month ago. She rarely naps for more than 30 min at a time, and always wakes up from naps screaming hysterically. A few months ago, it started taking hours to put her to bed at night. I would nurse, rock her to sleep, but as soon as I put her in her crib… hysterical crying. I started Weissbluth’s extinction method. She went from crying to 45 minutes to 15 minutes at naps and bed-time within a week. Nonetheless, we ALWAYS get 10 min of HYSTERICAL crying before naps and night. In fact, as soon as she sees her crib/sleep sack, the hysterical crying begins. The hysterical crying continues even if I stand beside her crib, touch her while in the crib, or rock her (in my arms) in the same room as the crib. Naps NEVER last more than 30 min… and then she wakes up.. crying hysterically. If I nurse her after a nap, she will sleep ON me for hours. I know she is overtired… which makes this all the more frustrating. As of 16 weeks old, she began waking in the night every two hours. Starting at 18 weeks, it is every hour. She is awake at night EVERY hour. THe only way to get her to go to sleep for more than an hour is by nursing her, in bed. I am not a fan of co-sleeping. It is uncomfortable and dangerous. In the morning, I am freezing and she is sweaty. I have tried Cry it out throughout the night, but it is not working. I have a 5 year old and a husband and she is waking up the whole house. We are currently sleeping in the basement in an effort to allow half of the family to get some sleep. I would be alright with staying awake all night.. if she would nap during the day.. but she doesn’t. I’m seriously on the edge and don’t know how much longer I’m going to be able to deal with this. FYI… my first baby also did not nap…(longer than 30 min) until she was 2. I have basically memorized Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. The No Cry Sleep Solution does not work. Really, I’m just looking for somebody who is going through the same thing to tell me that it’s going to be okay.
Shannon:
I am right here with you! Although, you might have made it through already (Since you posted in March)
My 16 week old was a dream until almost 2 weeks ago. She did co-sleep for the first 3 months, and was doing stretches of up to 9 hours regularly. She would nap for 2-3 hours if being held. So that’s what we did. (Our first daughter was in her crib and solo sleeping all night long from 8 weeks onward, with no issues at the 4 month mark) It was not my intention to co-sleep, or to hold her during naps. But we all got lots of rest and this time around that seemed to be the most important thing. So I did whatever was working….until…IT WASN’T WORKING anymore!
One day naps went to crap! She started squirming after 40 minutes of sleeping in our arms and failing herself awake, eyes shot open and she looked confused and upset and awake immediately. We could not get her back to sleep. After a few days, I figured “well this isn’t working anymore, so its time for the crib.” Which is in our room. We’ve made it dark with blackout blinds. We have white noise. We swaddled. And it was working. Sort of. She was going down drowsy and then falling to sleep solo. Easier each time. But the 40 minute nap monster never stopped. THEN, it got harder. (as it always does) And worse…It’s becoming increasingly more difficult to get her down. And BEDTIME? Forget it! What worked for naps, worked for bed, until IT DIDN’T work! Now I can do the same routine, and she needs about 2 hours of up and down to actually conk out. She is drowsy and then as soon as she hits the bed….WIDE AWAKE and unhappy! And a 7pm bedtime becomes 9pm. And then she’s ready to eat again at midnight. With 2 wakes during the night.
I’m going nuts. But just trying to make it through. I know it can’t last forever. And I’m clinging onto a routine in hopes that eventually she will get the memo….”BABIES NEED SLEEP…..and so do mommies” Until then, I’m here with you, just hoping!
What do you think about this? http://www.alternative-mama.com/8-reasons-to-avoid-sleep-training-your-baby
I think every parent has to decide if they would like to sleep train their baby, and it isn’t a good idea to tell someone who is at their wit’s end not to. My kids both cried in the car when I drove them anywhere for the entire length of the car ride. Does this mean it isn’t fair for me to drive them anywhere? When I decided to sleep train my already-crying-all-the-time-anyway colicky son, he was 4 months old. I decided it was better for him to have a well rested, kind, sane mother than one who was crabby all the time because of rocking him for hours in the evening and at nap time and at night never sleeping. He was able to put himself to sleep without crying after only 3 days. I still woke up with him to feed him twice a night until he was 1 year old, but he learned so easily to fall asleep on his own. After her sleep regression, the same was true for my daughter. They both love and trust me to this day.
I am a strong believer in guilt free parenting. Parenting is hard enough without other parents telling you that you are harming your child or doing things wrong. A lot of that article is nonsense from someone who probably didn’t have a hard core sleep regression or a colicky baby. Sleep training was best for both my children and me. Parents can try it, or they can decide not to, but they shouldn’t go around telling other parents why their choices might be harming their children.
Reading this made me feel so much better! I’m doing all of your suggestions. My little guy falls asleep on his own, naps 3-4 times a day (he’s a 45m/one cycle napper.. but I can see he’s trying to get back to sleep at the 45m mark!), no soother, no swaddle. Yet at 16 weeks the night sleep turned into a monster. He had been sleeping 7pm-7am with 1 feed (approx 3am). He’s breastfed. Then at 14/15 weeks he started waking twice. Now at 16 it’s 3 times. Out of desperation I tried giving a bottle I had pumped mixed with 1tsp oat baby cereal. This helped get back to 2 wakings. But a few nights in the gas started and he seemed to have watery eyes all day long. I switched to rice cereal in case of possible allergies. No luck, still 3 wakings. Then i went and bought some organic baby formula and tried stuffing his belly with a big bottle right before bed. Last night he ate a 6.5oz bottle of formula with a bit of breast milk mixed in. He still had 3 wakings. I’ve tried CIO in the night (5/10/etc) intervals. He just cries and cries. CIO worked quickly and really well for falling asleep but will not work in this situation. During his night wakings it seems like he’s so so hungry. He eats wonderfully all day long. He had a growth spurt a few weeks ago and this isn’t one. I’m starting to think he either needs MORE food during the day to offset night hunger, or he’s waking up and needs food to fall asleep. My husband went in during one of the wakings and after 30m of crying in intervals he finally fed him a 5oz bottle of formula. He fell back asleep on his own after the feeding. I think I am going to try watered down bottles for the night wakings and see what that does. I can’t feed him AND pump enough during the day to feed him bottles at night so I’m going to have to resort to formula. Any other suggestions?? I felt like I was doing all the wrong things and should bring out the swaddle and soother and bring him into our room to sleep. But, I’m going to persevere and try the watered down bottles.
I have 2 other children and they only experienced about a week of sleep regression. Now, my 4 month old twins seem much worse than my two older children were. I don’t know if its just because there are 2 so I literally feel like I am up all night long!!! Or if I just don’t remember that time of my older kids. Anyways, my twins sleep in separate cribs but in the same room….any tips or advice for sleep training in this situation?
We seem to be hitting it hard as well… our little one cried while my husband rocked him for over 1/2 hour… then he tried laying him down once he was calm… he cried…after 10 min. my hubby checked on him and he stopped crying until he left the room at which point he started up again… so how long is to long to let them cry for (on average)??
I am very relieved to read that many people have been going through the same experiences that we have with our baby girl. She was sleeping wonderfully for about seven weeks all the way through the night. Right around week 16 she started waking every two hours sometimes every hour! Out of desperation after talking with our pediatrician, we decided to let her cry it out. Putting her down initially has been great, she only cries a few minutes and drifts off to sleep. However when she wakes in the middle of the night she will cry and cry much longer before soothing herself back to sleep. It is maddening to listen to this night after night happening every hour or two.I feel horrible because the doctor did say if she had been sleeping more than eight hours I should feed her in case she is hungry. So now I feel like I have confused her. Sometimes she cries in the night and I come with a bottle and sometimes we don’t come at all. This has led to a very unsuccessful cry it out sleep training. We are entering the fifth week of no sleep and trying to go to work after night after night of this and I’m at a loss as to what to do. I hope there is light at the end of this tunnel and that many of you who posted long ago found that your children worked this out on their own. We are at a loss as to whether to keep trying with letting her cry and see if she becomes better at soothing or do what it takes to get through the next few weeks or however long this will take. Whether it be bring her in our bed or get up and go to her in the night rather than let her cry. This truly is a desperate situation!
Hi Nina, just wondering how you got on in the end and what worked for you?
Hi Mollie,
I see that it’s been a few years since you posted this but I stumbled upon it four nights ago as I lay in bed cuddling my 15-week-old for the third time already that night (it was only 1am with a long night still ahead – I was at the end of my rope). I searched many articles that provided no real advice until reading this. I began making changes THAT NIGHT. My poor husband had to listen to me explain all there is to know about 4-month sleep regression and my plan of action at 3am that very night! But the next day, it began. Scheduled naps in his bed, earlier bed time, letting him cry (we used Ferber method – check in at 3 minutes, then 5 minutes later, then 10 minutes after that and continue in 10 minute intervals until baby sleeps) and today we are at DAY 3. The first day, he cried at nap times – screamed. He cried for a full hour before bed the first night. On day 2, no crying at nap times, 28 minutes of crying at bed time. Today, no crying at nap times, 6 minutes of crying at bed time. AND FULL NIGHTS OF SLEEP! We wake up for quick feeds and then it’s back to bed and he soothes himself for a few minutes before passing out. I also swear by the method of sending daddy in at the timed intervals instead of me – it’s like he knows that the lack of boobies making crying pointless. My angel has slept more and been happier in the last three days than over the whole last month. I have your article to thank. So THANKS!!! You gave me hope, motivation and the strength I needed to get this beautiful routine started!!
Holy cow, Lindsay! Your comment gave me the chills and made me tear up! Even though it was two years ago, I remember sitting down to write the article once we were through it and imagining you as I wrote. Just someone who felt like I did, alone, tired, and desperate. I am so happy that you found it, and that you are having such success! Like I said in the article, may the sleep be with you! Thank you for making my day.
Hello I was hoping to get some advice from you about my daughters sleeping she is 17 weeks old. At 7 weeks old she started sleeping through the night, and wasnt sleeping much in the day some days not at all her bath times was at 8pm followed by a bottle and was asleep in Moses basket at 9pm untill the earliest 7am sometimes nearly 10am. when she was 13 weeks we changed the basket for a cot and she slept fine for a week For about 3-4 weeks she started waking in the night at least twice sometimes 5 times. I started giving her baby cereal in morning and now give her half a jar of baby food at 5pm she has two 30 min nanap and start her bath at 7pm and is asleep by 8ish. Some nights she falls asleep wile having her bottle or liein in my arms but other nights she will just cry I try giving her more milk, cuddling, walking round with her but can take up till half 9 to get her to sleep. Sometimes she will go to sleep for a nap literrally straight away other times just cry’s. When she wakes in the night I mostly get her to sleep by holding her within 5 mins shes back in her cot other times after 10 mins I decide to give her a bottle. I am really tired by the time I fall asleep she is awake again and has got very fussy and miserable compared to how she was a month ago its likes I have a totally different baby
I am so happy that I finally found a page with offering solutions. This is my first week of dealing with this issue. I have a 3 year old and although he didn’t sleep well he was never like this and was always consistent with his poor sleeping until 10 months. My daughter was sleeping great from 3 weeks until just this past week, (now 15 weeks) we had it down pat, everyday same routine. It was awesome, then bam out of no where she’s up every 2 hours at night sometimes less. She’s fighting her naps during the day, I have been coming up with something different everyday to try and sooth her to sleep. She literally goes nuts when I try putting her to sleep. What worked yesterday doesn’t work today. I’ve just been at my wits end and feel like pulling my hair out and crying. I dont think I’d be as upset if it had been like this since she was born but this has really threw me for a loop. I’m going to try these lessons of advice and hope for the best. I want so badly to enjoy these baby months with my daughter and the lack of sleep makes that difficult. Its so hard to enjoy your days when your exhausted and on edge. It’s so nice to know I’m not alone, I never even heard of this regression before until now. I actually seriously thought something was wrong with her and took her into the doctor to get checked out! If there’s any new or more advice on this issue I am more than willing to hear about it. Thank you to all the mom’s out there with helpful advice.
Hi Amanda! It can be very isolating, especially since it is always happening in the wee hours of the night! I hope your little one gets back into a good sleep routine soon. But just FYI, you definitely aren’t alone…thousands of people from around the world read this post every month, and it’s been live for 2.5 years. Best wishes to you and all of the tired parents out there!
Hi
I’m Serene from Singapore. My baby is 3.5 months old now and is going through the sleep regression. A little early though. She could not self soothe to sleep anymore like she used to. I am doing nap training currently (we are done with sleep training for night at 2 months old). However, may I ask if each time my baby cries, I need to go to her 5 mins interval and carry her to calm her down, then lay her down onto bed, and wait another 10 mins if she cries again, etc… repeated routine to carry and calm?
Hi there,
My little guy is now 15 weeks old and I fear we have entered the dreaded “sleep regression.” He has been put down AWAKE since he was about 6 weeks old. He used to sleep from about 7pm-7am. He most often happily puts himself to sleep (a few grunts, “talks to himself,” an occasional wimper). This is a beautiful thing but also a difficult detail– when he wakes at night, shouldn’t he know how to put himself back to sleep? In other words, does CIO work with a baby who knows how to go to sleep on his own? Also, my husband is going in with a bottle (breastmilk) when he first wakes at night (usually between 10pm-12am). Then I breastfeed him between 4am-6am (whenever he wakes). This has been the routine for the past couple of weeks but now he is waking between these times and we don’t know what to do. What if he cries for hours—leading us to next time we would normally feed? We often try to give a pacifier during this awkward period, which sometimes works. Is the regressive sleep behavior permanently affected by what we do/don’t do? Or, does it tend to work itself out regardless?
Thank you so much for writing this amazing, informative, and heartfelt article. It is precisely what I needed as I enter week 2 of The Regression. I am exactly like you– need a plan. I can survive if I have a plan and thanks to you I have one. Please wish me luck. It helps so much to know I am not alone.
Thank you, Monica! Best wishes to you!
Just a quick question to those of you who have had older children. Do all babies go through this stage? Do some lucky parents not experience this? Or are there different degrees of sleep regression?
Thanks!
My daughter had this sleep regression and she was my second. My son (my first) did not. Also, in the stories I’ve heard, some kids only regress for a short time because of teething or some other brief factor.
I have been reading for days about this and like everyone else just wanted some help…. After reading so much about what the regression was I was still completely clueless what to do about it. Then in the middle of the night I came across this. I I I am so nervous to try CIO but am also completely exhausted so I think it’s my last resort. But thank you for taking the time years ago to give some suggestions. Xx
I’m so glad it helped just to read it, Brooke! Hope you get some good sleep soon!
I believe my son is going through a sleep regression also. He is exclusively bottle fed breast milk. I read a lot of people on here started out with either long night sleep babies or bad nappers. My son naps good during the day and got him down to sleeping a 6hr stretch with only 1 night feeding by 3 months which was a hell of an accomplishment since he was dead set on waking and eating every 2 hours around the clock in the beginning. I unfortunately fell pray to the binky in the beginning. And now he can’t fall asleep without it. If it falls out he doesn’t wake up but if he wakes up he needs it to go back to sleep. He is just about 4 months now and one day started blowing his 3hr feed schedule consistently and slept like crap at night. So I resorted to switching to a 4hr feed schedule. The first 3 days were perfect. Wakes at 6 feeds at 6:30am Naps 8-10 Feeds 10:30 Naps 11:30/12 – 1:30/2 Feeds at 2:30 Naps from 3:30/4 – 5:30/6 Feeds at 6:30 Bed 8:00pm goes to sleep in less than 10 minutes with walking around the crib in my arms for 3 minutes then put down in crib on his side. This helps with startle reflex. For naps I lay him down on his side on the couch with the binky and let him fall asleep without me touching him with the binky. He was eating 5oz at each meal on the 3hr schedule and the first 3 days took 6oz at the 4hr schedule. But now I am having such a hard time feeding him and it’s a task to get him to eat 5oz. He turns his head pulls himself off the bottle puts his hands all over the bottle and tries to stick his thumb in his mouth while eating. That many times coming on an off the bottle creates more gas and at first I wasn’t burping him enough and on a few feeds at less than 5oz because we ran into his nap time and became too fussy. He is the worst burper ever. I occasionally have to give him gripe water to facilitate a gas bubble that I know is in there that will not let go even after 10 solid minutes of burping. He recently started waking every hour the beginning of the night until his 2am feed and even after that feed he wakes on occasion 1-2 times. Where as before his best sleep was this stretch sometimes waking only once for me to put the binky in. Then after the feed was often hit or miss. I’m not quite ready for CIO I think. I know I have to get rid of the binky but the one time I tried with a nap he cried bloody murder for 20minutes straight. Is there any other methods of phasing out the binky? Today his last nap he slept without it at all but of course didn’t wake up. I don’t know how to get him to fall asleep on his own without some type of crutch or maybe which crutch to use and then slowly phase out. I’ve tried rocking him instead of the binky but doesn’t work. I tried holding his naps to instead of a total of 6hrs to 5 with a 7:00 bed time but it didn’t work the first time and only moved his night feed up to midnight. And I’m not sure how long to try something before I know it’s not working. Maybe 3 days?
Thank you so much for posting this! I have read everything I can find, and this is more helpful than all of it combined. My daughter had been sleeping from 8-6:30 with a dream feed at 10pm. She would nap twice a day for 2-3 hours. We have always put her down awake-without a paci. She normally talks for a minute-and then she’s out. Same for naps. Now-she is screaming before bed, waking up every 1-2 hours throughout the night. When she gets up, I wait 5 minutes before going in there to comfort her. Sometimes she’ll go back to sleep, others she screams-and won’t go back to sleep. How do I decide if she needs fed during these wake ups? I have no problem with letting her cry it out–I just don’t want her to be crying because she’s hungry! I teach school and am at my wits end getting up every hour then going to school to teach 23 second graders! Again, thanks for your advice!
Thank you for your tips. Our little one is 16 weeks old today and I am feeling so tired. I put the regression down to teething in our case but either way when you go from 7 hours of sleep per night to waking every 3 or 4 hours it’s hard and exhausting. I am definitely going to try using your tips and try the CIO method too. It’s funny how crazy lack of sleep can make you but anything to get a few more zzz’s for both of us. During the day with her naps she will do one sleep cycle 40 mins and guaranteed will be awake at 41 minutes. The only way I’ve been able to get her naps to go longer is if we Co-nap (not co-sleeping I tell my husband as its during the day). But i really dont want this to become a habit! So from tomorrow we will give your tips a go and fingers crossed this mumma and bub will get those lovely night’s sleep back again.
Hi, thank you for this page! It’s the most helpful one I could find. I have a question, and I’m sorry if someone has already asked this, but when you do the Ferber method and are checking the baby at 5mins, 10, etc, when you go to pick up the baby how long do you spend with them before putting them back down again? Thank you!
I’m not sure what is recommended (I believe actual Ferber method would have you not even touch and instead just do some soothing talk), but with my kids I believe I rocked them until they calmed down, then set them back in the crib. So as quickly as possible after you get back to a calm state.
I’m in need of some advice for this stage. We stopped night feeding at all at just a few weeks old…maybe 6-8 weeks? It’s been so long since a night feeding, I honestly don’t remember. Up to this point, he’s slept 10 hours straight through the night. My son gets 35 oz during the day and I’m honestly worried about over feeding him, more so than not feeding him enough.
So, now I don’t know what to do. Re-introducing night feeds seems like a bad move at this point. Last night, my son went down at 8, woke at 11 and wouldn’t go back to bed until 3:30!!!!! That’s longer than he stays awake in the day. The only time we got him out of bed was to change his diaper and clean him up after he spit up all over himself. He even chatted, cooed and giggled with himself like it was early morning. What is happening?! Should I reintroduce night feeds?
Ok, I just wanted to thank you for this! My son started his sleep regression last week while we were on vacation. I didn’t realize it until we got home that the sleep regression is what it actually was, not just the change in environment. He’s 3 1/2 months, so I’ve been expecting it. He cried for FOUR hours straight last night before we finally got him down the first time. He was up every two hours. We were at 7-9 hour stretches before. I’ve tried the nap portion so far and it’s going great! 1 nap 2 hours after he woke up and slept for about two hours. Another nap 2 hours after that one and he just went down in 5 minutes! Here’s to hoping tonight goes better!
Thanks so much for the great advice!
Thank thank thank you, for all your advise we are 6 weeks into the sleep regression our son started at 3 months 🙁 its been extremely tough, we are also in the middle of purchasing a new home so have been crazy busy with repainting etc so no rests during the day for this momma bear. i am going to implement several of your recommendations and fingers crossed we slowly start getting some sleep. last night he woke every 45 mins …. we even put him into bed with us after it took me an hour to get him to sleep then when i went to bed he woke within 10 mins …it did not help , he just then decided to go from one boob to the other all night long 🙁 finger crossed i get a semi decent sleep soon
We actually moved our 5 month old son back to the bassinet from the crib after a few weeks of the regression and so far he’s doing great. He likes a cozy smaller environment and the crib was way too wide open for him.