Meeting Wally Ben

We are so blessed. Wally V is 4 days old, and is our fabulous little ball of love, just as we’d hoped for. We’ve been extremely busy these past few days learning more about each other and how to take care of him (docs forgot to include the instruction manual when they sent us packing, just like everyone warned us they might).

Yesterday Wally V’s Poop-Poop (a name were considering for Wally V to call Walter III) asked what the next blog post might be, and I had no idea how to answer. Our lives have changed so much in just a few short days that possible topics are endless! Since I can’t possibly explain the biggest change, which is the impossibly overwhelming love that both Wally IV and I feel— it makes me cry just to think about trying to put it into words—I decided the next best thing would be to describe the first moment I felt that feeling. I’ll start by saying it was love at first sight.

So let’s go back to that moment. Wally IV and I had had a long day. From noon on in the delivery room we had been going back and forth from the possibility of a C-section and holding out to see if natural delivery was a possiblity. (Wally V’s heart rate would drop with every contraction, so they feared a cord around the neck and didn’t want to stress him out by speeding up contractions. Because of that, they weren’t sure if he would take too long to deliver naturally and had the C-section cart ready to go.) It was worrisome for Wally and I, but we knew we had tons of prayers behind us. Around 6 they said we would do a C section if the next check showed he wasn’t ready. We prayed while we waited, and God answered by giving Wally V the push he needed! He would be ready within a few hours to meet us!

I had watched my fair share of “The Baby Story” on TLC while pregnant, and so I knew the process. If the baby is born naturally, and everything is fine with him, the doctor sets him on the mommy’s belly while the rest of the process is taken care of. If something is wrong with the baby, they take him across the room to check him out and fix him up. My biggest fear was that something would be wrong with him, especially with the possibility of his cord around his neck.

The fear was not realized. As soon as he was out, the doctor tossed him up my way. Really. Tossed. Like he kind of flailed through the air toward me. Wally IV does an excellent impression of Wally V flopping through the air, so funny that when he did it yesterday for the first time I peed my pants. (Give me a break, please—you lose all control of things down there. Plus, it was really funny! Poor Wally IV has to deal with two people in need of diapers in the house.)

Anyhow, I screamed as he was tossed up my way. I remember this mainly because the doctor laughed at my reaction. It was a scream of relief,  joy, and startle at a little floppy baby heading up my way. And then I checked him out.

It was so odd to see my little man the first time. It was like meeting a stranger that you’ve known forever. He was so different from what I’d pictured—or perhaps I realized in that moment I never had pictured him because I felt who he was so clearly that I’d never even given his features a thought. And even though he looked so different from what I expected, everything in me screamed with recognition, “There you are.”

Wally IV told me I just kept repeating, “I love him so much,” the whole time I was holding him. And I do. I really do. There was nothing else worth saying.